Thursday, December 29, 2011


Me: *Uncontrollable coughing fit*"Coughcoughgagcoughcoughgaspcough"

Kids in unison: "Maaaaama! Shhhhh! We can't hear the music."

We should have been listening to "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" because that is what I felt. Pure love, concern, and compassion...for the music playing. Sorry, kids. Did my gasping for air block out the "Manamana" song that is playing for the 15th time in a row? How selfish of me. Let me just go pass out from lack of oxygen over here in the corner of the kitchen. You know, the corner with the crumbs that come out of now where. Seriously. I don't even cook, cut, or make anything on that side of the kitchen. Where do they come from? Sorry. Side thought. I just wonder is all. Especially now that I am sitting in a pile of them in the corner about to pass out. 

To be fair, Tuck did come in the kitchen to tell me I should go lay down in my bed. He quickly followed up that thoughtful suggestion by telling me my cough was grossing him out. Mags followed close behind to put her two cents in.

"Your cough is super bad, Mama. You need a nap. I will watch Tuck."

Oh, that makes me feel a ton better. I can just see how this will go:

*Cue dream sequence*(not the Nightmare on Elm Street kind. The Wayne's World kind.)

I go lay down in my bed. I fall asleep immediately. Mags comes in and gives Tuck the "all clear". They go under the sink and pull out the jar of layered holiday candy. The leftover, misfit Halloween candy is at the bottom. Then there is birthday candy in the middle mixed in with some random scores of candy accumulated through the multitude of holiday events we have been to. On the top, well, that is where the prime candy lays. That is where the Santa candy is. He doesn't mess around. He brings the good stuff. Plenty of sugar and chocolate. It calls to them. The force is strong in this one. They won't be able to resist.

I wake up in a panic to find wrappers piled high all over the house. I find my children swinging from the beams in our ceiling. The Muppet soundtrack is blaring. The jar is tipped over on the floor, almost empty. They see me and freeze. As usual, Tuck begins to recite his dissertation of why they did what they did. Mags jumps in with some helpful details and facts about butterflies. By the end, I am too tired to fight about it. I sit down and eat the rest of the spilled misfit Halloween candy. 

*end dream sequence*

I realize how a nap will not work for me and how my kids are staring at me confused by my silence. I know! I could turn on a movie and get them to snuggle up with me on the couch. I'll at least be able to rest while the kids watch T.V. and give in to it's magical zombiefying powers. (I just made that word up. It's my blog. I can do that if I want to.) 

Definitely! Yep! That is our plan.
Off I go to snug....coughcoughcoughcoughcoughgaspcoughgagcoughcough.
Change of plan. I'll be in the kitchen corner.

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