"Mama, I am sorry to tell you this. You are on the naughty list."
Apparently Mags has been keeping a naughty list. Who is on this list with me? So glad you asked. They are:
The Grinch, all the kids who are mean to Charlie Brown, all the reindeer who make fun of Rudolf, the mean, head elf in Rudolf, the lady who taunts Santa in the Best Buy commercial, and me.
Before we investigate her reasoning for this list further, let's talk about the list itself for a minute. The Naughty List. What an intriguing concept. I feared this thing when I was a child. Now I look forward to it being November 1st so I can use it on my own children. My son fears it. Not that he needs to. Mags, however, could use a little warning here and there. The girl whose motto in life seems to fit, “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission”.
In typical Mags fashion, she took this “naughty list” as a challenge. She decided to make it her own. She would “help” Santa out by keeping one for him. I admire her clever thinking. In all honesty, I wish I had thought of that when I was little. She did indeed turn the power struggle around. She acts all helpful to Santa with her covert, fly under the radar, collector of "Naughty List Nellie's" disguise.
I really would not put it by her. I mean, there IS an app for everything. For crying out loud, the girl can work my iPhone better than me. If she is undercover, she does feed the big man good info. I mean, c’mon! Of course he's not going to think twice about all of the people on her list. Let's take a closer look, shall we?
He turns it around ON Christmas Day. He takes ALL their things. Robs them blind. Leaves a crumb too small for a mouse and all that jazz. You can hand out all the "roast beast" you want Grinchy. Mags isn't buying it. So close, but no cigar!
All the Peanut characters who are mean to Charlie Brown
This happens all year long in every holiday special. Good grief! Poor Charlie Brown never gets a break. Plus, they call him "stupid" a lot. A word that we don't use in this house and Mags the enforcer is quick to point that out. Maybe it's their turn to get a rock for a change.
All the reindeer who are mean to Rudolf
Agreed! They are pretty cruel. Of course, they love him on Christmas Eve when he saves the day. Surprise! Who doesn’t love the guy who throws the winning touchdown? I mean, to be honest, Santa was even a bit rough on poor Rudolf! Mags was too busy scolding all the other reindeer
and elves on the TV to notice that, though.
The mean, head elf in Rudolf
Well, he did get what was coming to him in the end. I always wondered if Herbie gave him enough Novocaine when fixing his aching tooth. "I'm sorry Head Elf, what are you saying? I can't hear you over the drill."
The lady who taunts Santa in the Best Buy commercials
Personally, I think Best Buy should be on this list too, but apparently it is not my call. I am not the holder of the "secret app". Anyways, enough of my conspiracy theories. What is that woman thinking? Really? I mean the big guy gets ONE night a year to do his magical thing. On top of that, you are going to give him attitude after he shoves himself down your dirty chimney? She didn't even put out her fire in her fire place. Sheesh. She was asking for it. The first time Mags saw the commercial she turned to me with a shocked look on her face and declared, “That lady is FRESH Mama! She is not being very nice to poor Santa. I bet he will put her on the naughty list!” I gave a hearty, "YEP! I think so too Mags!", secretly hoping I was now off the naughty list.
This status changes daily. Who knows why I am on the naughty list? Don't answer that. I have been working a little bit harder these past few weeks on "practice what you preach". It is so hard not get caught up in the hustle and bustle that fills the air mixed in with a little anxiety and impatience. The best reminder I have for what this holiday is about is my children. Like I said in my first post, they keep me honest and on the straight and narrow.
For that I am thankful and humbled.
Psssssssssst....am I off the naughty list yet?
I guess not!