Thursday, March 29, 2012

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

Me: "Holy cow! You are totally kicking my booty in this superhero memory game."
Mags: "I know." *giggling*
Me: "How do you remember where everything is?" 
Mags: "Because my brain has a lot more energy than yours."

This is true. Her brain, her body, and her mouth. They all have a lot more energy than mine. I stare at my kids in awe. I don't know how many times I've heard someone say, "If we could just bottle that up." I know, but honestly would we really want to? 

I can just picture this infomercial with Hulk Hogan promoting it: 

"Introducing the new drink of the future. We've contained children's energy and bottled it up in a drink! Introducing, 'Insanity'! You can choose from three levels of 'Insanity' depending on how much spunk you need. 

You stayed up late watching the finale of your favorite TV show? No problem! Try our 'happy-go-lucky' formula. This contains energy from children ages six through eight.You will feel bright-eyed and busy tailed the whole day through. 


What about when you got home a little later than expected from girls night out? Try our 'excited about everything' formula that has energy from children ages four through five. You'll build tents, bake cookies, and play dress-up like a pro. AND you'll still get the laundry and dishes done! It's that good! 


What's that? You've been up ALL night with the baby and you have to get the kids ready for school and daycare in the morning? On top of that you have an important meeting for work that begins at 9:00AM on the dot? Look no further! You need our 'insane in the membrane' formula. You'll get those kids out of bed, partially dressed, fed, and on time to school while still impressing your boss with a dynamic presentation your over-stimulated brain formulated last minute on the ride to work. That's because this formula is bottled from the coveted energy of toddlers ages two through three. It's the best out there! 


If you order right now, I'll send you a free sample. That's right, I said FREE! One is all it takes to make your day a success. It's not important HOW we get the energy, what matters is that we get it TO YOU! Don't you deserve to have a little spring in your step? Don't waste another second with those baggy circles under your eyes. Call now! 
What'cha gonna do, brother, when 'Insanity' runs wild on you?" 

My heart racing, palms sweating, and mind scattered in 10,000 different directions. I am not equipped for that magnitude of energy. I'm pretty sure that I would get every closet cleaned out and organized in this house, but I'd also end up having a coronary in the process. I think I'll leave it to the professionals, also known as the kids. I'm sure it's part of the magic that makes childhood so special.  


Plus, I'm not sure I could pull off THIS look:


23 comments:

  1. Sadly, I have that same face in the morning, but mine means "dear god, why have I benn dragged from the bliss of slumber to face another day???"
    Of course, that's only on workdays...

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    1. Guapo, of course. I get this face when I see my son picking his nose. UGH! Why is that so appealing to a kid? :)

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  2. LOL. I would like to bottle kid's energy sometimes! Usually in the morning. Or when the dishes need washing.

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  3. I'd like to know where I can buy that Hulk Hogan Children's Energy drink?
    Yeah I'm with you - wish I could bottle it.

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  4. hilarious...i would be happy to stay up late watching your infomercials for this fabulous product!

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  5. guess what song is in my head now? :D

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  6. Hysterical! That picture is priceless. I totally think you could pull that look off!

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    1. Thanks, I appreciate the vote of confidence.

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  7. Yay! You linked up! Cute piece--I wish I had thought of it. Kid's energy, metabolism, enthusiasm, awe, sweetess--it's all good. we do well as adults to remember our non-jaded, less cynical, to ally more energized selves. Erin

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  8. Hahhaha I like that the bottle is made out of toddler energy. Cute.

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  9. i could use a bottle of that age 4-5 energy right now. hulk hogan has NOTHING on a four year old!

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  10. Haha! I think I'd like the 6-8 year old version please ;)

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  11. Oh man. If Billy Mays were still alive, this would have killed him!

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  12. If I could bottle up all the goodness my toddler exudes (aside from energy? Forgiveness, resilience, adaptability), I'd be a millionaire.

    One can dream right?

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  13. Hilarious! I'm like you I really don't know if I could handle the energy. But if we ever can bottle it, you'd make a great marketing person for it!

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  14. As long as you get someone other than Hulk Hogan to promote it, you can count me in.

    I seem to only get tons of energy when it is time to go to bed. It is really sad.

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  15. haha- my five year old loves super mario galaxy and oh, if I could bottle his energy talking about it...yikes. this was too cute :)

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