Friday, March 23, 2012

IT WAS AN ITSY, BITSY, TEENIE, WEENIE YELLOW POLK-DOT...TANKINI

Mags: "I see the perfect bathing suit for you! Look, it has Ariel on it AND Flounder!"

So, I was obviously on drugs the other day. Stupid Target putting their bathing suits out so early. I actually saw one I liked so I  picked it up, foolishly, and put it in the cart. Mags got all excited.

"Let's try this on."

How much harm could that do? It would be a little entertainment for her while visiting the dressing room. Mags loves the mirrors in there. She admires her beauty, flinging her hair back with one hand. It's priceless. However, like I said before, I must have been on drugs. I decided to grab some khaki shorts for good measure to try on since I would be in there anyways. In we went. I quickly tried on the top. Then put the bottom on.

"How does this look, Mags?"

On. Drugs. Why was I asking a FOUR YEAR OLD how I looked? The girl that holds nothing back? And so it began:


Mags: "Wow, Mama, that top is too short. I can see your belly button." 
Me: "Well, it's a Tankini, Honey. It doesn't go all the way down like a shirt."
Mags: "Well, I think you need to find a longer one. I don't like seeing your belly button. It freaks me out."
Me: "OK...how about the color? Do you like the color of the bathing suit?"
Mags: "Not really. It's too bright."
Me: "Hmmm...what color bathing suit do you like?" 
Mags: "I like a black one. Oh no! What is that?"
Me: "What?" *now frantically looking for a bug crawling on me.*
Mags: "That! On your leg" *drilling her finger forcefully into the spot on my leg*
Me: "It's just a freckle. I've had it since I was born."
Mags: "That's a long time cause you're old."
Me: "Hey! I'm not THAT old! Moving on. What about the bottom part?"
Mags: "It's not very pretty. It just...sits there."
Me: "It's a bathing suit bottom, Mags. That's how it is supposed to be."
Mags: "Well, I think you should find some bathing suit shorts. In black, too."
Me: "OK, well, thanks for your help."

I promptly took off the suit of shame, hung it back up, and got on my phone to locate the nearest scuba diving shop in our area.

I mean, really, how can I compete with this? 


10 comments:

  1. Sorry, but this is funny. i love hearing what Mags says.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree. It's funny...now. ;) thanks for coming by!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was going to say something supportive, but then so I saw the picture at the bottom.
    And no, you can't compete with that.

    Perhaps bathing suit shopping with husband or peers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree...Tge cuteness is off the charts. No competition. ;)

      Delete
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