POOP!

Overheard from the kids while playing:
Mags: "I want to play with that one!! (waaaaaaaaah)"
Tuck: "Fine, Mags, you don't have to blow it out of "poop"portion"

Poop is a trigger word in our house. What does it trigger? Fits of UNCONTROLLABLE laughter. The hearty kind where they don't make any noise and turn purple type of laughter. The kids know that it is not a word they should be shouting out loud in public. They also know that we don't add 'head' or 'pants' to the end of that word and then aim it at someone.

Somehow, though, they always find a way to fit it into conversation without warranting me getting upset about it. They are getting good at it, too. So, I started to keep track of all their clever little usages this week.

They use the word poop:

To describe how they are feeling: "I am feeling like poo."
I can see that. Sometimes there is just no other way to describe how gross they feel. Especially if they are coughing and have snot running out of their noses...or if I haven't showered in three days (just an example of course).

To describe how something looks: "This chocolate chip looks like a little turd."
Agreed. I have to give the kids kudos when they can describe something accurately. It never ceases to amaze me, though, that after giving such a visual, they had no problem popping that food right into their mouth.

To describe something they need to do, very loudly, for everyone around us to hear: "I have to poop...NOW!" 
This usually happens in the grocery store or WalMart (shiver) when we are in the aisle the furthest distance from the disgusting restrooms.

To describe the smell of the restroom in the grocery store or WalMart: "This bathroom smells like poop."
It sure does. Sometimes, if you catch it after they clean it, it smells like bleached poop. So pleasant. There is not enough Glade air freshener on the shelves to rid that stench in either of those stores.

To describe an action they are seeing: "Look, the dog is going poop."
This one stretches my rule a bit and I always just take their word for it. I am sure as we are whizzing by houses in the car, they didn't just see a dog taking a bathroom break. What it always ends up coming down to is that they were just dying to use the word.

To describe a wrong doing of their sibling: "Maaaaama! Tuck said POOP!"
Oh, kids. Come on! They know they are both going to get in trouble. One of them for saying poop and one of them for tattling about the other saying poop. It's a bad idea all around. I wish they would figure out that they can just sit in their rooms and have a grand ole' time saying POOP as much as they want without me hearing. Get it out of their systems. For goodness sake, don't tattle about it!

So, what have we learned?

• Always have a good reason to use the word poop.
• Always cover up the fact you just want to say the word with one of these reasons.
• Don't use the restrooms in the grocery store or WalMart near my house.
• Don't tattle.
• Kids have no problem eating things that are described as looking like poop.
• Poop is funny. Period. The end.

Oh! And the chocolate chip totally looked like a little turd. See?

One more thing! Since I am a teacher, I needed to share with you some other synonyms for poop to add to your vocabulary (or scrub from your mind). You're welcome. 

cow pies, cowplop, crap, droppings, dung, excrement, feces,fertilizer, guano, manure, meadow muffin, nightsoil, ordure, poop