TRIFEXTRA: Placid
This post is in response to Trifecta's Trifextra weekend challenge:
"Write a horror story in 33 words, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun, or kill. Good luck."
PLACID
The pool. Dear God! She ran. A broken lock. A jammed door. Both barriers in her nightmare. She saw him flailing, gasping for breath. The water became eerily calm. She was too late.
Oh good God. How terrifying. The jammed door is the brilliant part. without that, it lacks the kick in the face.
ReplyDeleteone of your best.
Thanks, Lance!
DeleteSo very, very sad.
ReplyDeleteIt made me feel anxious writing it. Totally horrifying experience.
ReplyDeleteThis one was one of the most horrible.
ReplyDeleteYours was very well done, Kelly.
DeleteGood job!
ReplyDeleteI got tense reading it!
I was totally tense writing it. UGH! Gonna cover it up with a happy post now. :P
DeleteThis is one of my worst fears. Thank goodness we don't have a pool, or I'd have driven myself (and those around me) nuts with all my worrying.
ReplyDeleteI hear you! This was an intense prompt.
DeleteAw, this is very sad. You packed a lot into 33 well-chosen words.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI grew up with a pool in the back yard, so this was all too possible in my mind. Packed quite a punch - and yet, that eerie feeling lingers, too. Great write. Peace, Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/03/30/1955-trifecta-disturbing-photo-included/
Thank you, Amy. Sometimes the more realistic the story, the more horrifying.
DeleteThis is really terrifying. And she saw the struggle... Powerful story in 33 words!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sandra!
DeleteOh jesus, I can't even think about this. Too true. And the jammed door? No no no.
ReplyDeleteI know. Real life horror is the worst kind, in my opinion.
DeleteAny parents worst nightmare!
ReplyDeleteSo true!
DeleteThanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this week. Hope to see you back on Monday (10 am Eastern) for the new prompt and some exciting news about the changes Trifecta is making to spread the word about our writing community.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely horrifying. The 'could have made it but....' that you did with the door was a great touch. Great job.
ReplyDelete