Saturday, March 31, 2012

TRIFEXTRA: Placid

This post is in response to Trifecta's Trifextra weekend challenge:
"Write a horror story in 33 words, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun, or kill. Good luck."

PLACID

The pool. Dear God! She ran. A broken lock. A jammed door. Both barriers in her nightmare. She saw him flailing, gasping for breath. The water became eerily calm. She was too late. 
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22 comments:

  1. LanceMarch 31, 2012 at 12:42 AM

    Oh good God. How terrifying. The jammed door is the brilliant part. without that, it lacks the kick in the face.

    one of your best.

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  2. OldDogNewTitsMarch 31, 2012 at 1:18 AM

    So very, very sad.

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  3. According to Mags...March 31, 2012 at 1:40 AM

    It made me feel anxious writing it. Totally horrifying experience.

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  4. UnknownMarch 31, 2012 at 1:58 AM

    This one was one of the most horrible.

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  5. ElGuapoMarch 31, 2012 at 2:33 AM

    Good job!
    I got tense reading it!

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    1. According to Mags...March 31, 2012 at 9:43 AM

      I was totally tense writing it. UGH! Gonna cover it up with a happy post now. :P

      Delete
  6. AnonymousMarch 31, 2012 at 4:59 AM

    This is one of my worst fears. Thank goodness we don't have a pool, or I'd have driven myself (and those around me) nuts with all my worrying.

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  7. The Gal HerselfMarch 31, 2012 at 7:17 AM

    Aw, this is very sad. You packed a lot into 33 well-chosen words.

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  8. Sharp Little PencilApril 1, 2012 at 4:20 AM

    I grew up with a pool in the back yard, so this was all too possible in my mind. Packed quite a punch - and yet, that eerie feeling lingers, too. Great write. Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/03/30/1955-trifecta-disturbing-photo-included/

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    1. According to Mags...April 1, 2012 at 10:37 AM

      Thank you, Amy. Sometimes the more realistic the story, the more horrifying.

      Delete
  9. SandraApril 1, 2012 at 5:42 AM

    This is really terrifying. And she saw the struggle... Powerful story in 33 words!

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  10. Kim at Let Me Start By SayingApril 1, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    Oh jesus, I can't even think about this. Too true. And the jammed door? No no no.

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    1. According to Mags...April 1, 2012 at 7:16 PM

      I know. Real life horror is the worst kind, in my opinion.

      Delete
  11. CarrieApril 1, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Any parents worst nightmare!

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  12. TrifectaApril 2, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    Thanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this week. Hope to see you back on Monday (10 am Eastern) for the new prompt and some exciting news about the changes Trifecta is making to spread the word about our writing community.

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  13. ChrisApril 2, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    Absolutely horrifying. The 'could have made it but....' that you did with the door was a great touch. Great job.

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