Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I DON'T QUINOA

Mags: "Mama, you make the best dinners ever. This is so delicious, except for the potatoes. They are gross."

I can heat up chicken nuggets and fry a grilled cheese like nobody's business. I can make sides of fruit and raw vegetables in two seconds flat. Every night is the same battle in my head, though. What to make for dinner? I am not a 'cook' that thinks out of the box. Heck, I'm not a cook at all. I don't try to get creative with spices and exotic ingredients. Mostly because I end up wandering up and down aisles in the grocery store looking for them and then end up completely frustrated. Let's take this recipe for example:  Ginger Pot Roast with Quinoa Salad and Ginger Pineapple Compote. 

I immediately see this and get out my iPhone to ask Siri what 'Quinoa' is. She sends me a link. Thanks, Siri, you are so helpful.  The website tells me this particular food came from the ancient Incas and how it's shaped like small, oval, white beads that cook like rice. However, these suckers plump up to four times their original size. Awesome. The kids will love it if it looks like some sort of pasta. Never mind this website calls it the "super grain of the future". SCORE! Oh, and it has a similar taste to couscous. Even better. 

From this description, I know exactly where to find it. I strut down the rice aisle, being all sophisticated-like, looking for Quinoa. I pass by the Minute Rice and Uncle Ben's. Nothing. I must have missed it. I go back to the middle of the aisle and start down again. I scan the bottom shelves, top shelves, and all the shelves in between. Nope. Still nothing. I walk back out of the aisle and see a smiling lady stocking shelves full of Lucky Charms.

"Can I help you find something, Honey?"

I explain I am looking for Quinoa. What is this helpful lady's response? 

"What the heck is that?" 

Great. The lady who WORKS at the grocery store doesn't even know. She tells me since it is such a fancy name (I kid you not), I should look in the "exotic food" aisle. This is what this lady called it. In reality it just one aisle of sticky rice and taco making kits. However, on the bottom shelf, there it was! Quinoa. Woohoo! 

I got so excited. Pathetic, I know. I grabbed a bag and checked out with the rest of my weekly groceries. By the time I got home, I was full of myself because I was being so adventurous (for me). I pulled out my ingredients and started to get them in order. That's when I realized that I forgot something. The Ginger Root. AAAAH! Since it's in the name of the recipe...TWICE...I guess it is a necessity for success.

My new found cooking ego deflated like a balloon. Sigh. Then I looked closer at the recipe and saw the cooking time was almost three hours. Oh, heck no! I'll save this one for some Sunday when I'm 65, have time on my hands, and my grandchildren are coming over to visit. After all, they did say that Quinoa is the super grain of the future! 


So, who wants some chicken nuggets?



25 comments:

  1. The exotic food aisle has made me giggle before too! BTW, my idea of a good cook is someone who cooks (heats up) for me. Ellen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come on over. I can serve you a 5 star "heated" meal then! :P

      Delete
  2. I love Quinoa!!! I substitute it for rice in nearly everything. Also can be found in whole foods aisle. ;) But, heck... I'm happy with chicken nuggets too .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved the recipe you posted for me. Thanks!

      Delete
  3. I make a quinoa jambalaya that will knock your socks off!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love couscous. If quionoa really does taste like it than I will have to give it a try! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. You forgot the GINGER?!!? Mel, Mel, Mel. (shakes head)

    (The way I said that made you believe that I could cook, didn't it? )

    ReplyDelete
  6. And stop making me prove I'm "not a robot."

    That shit hurts my eyes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have three bags of Quinoa sitting in my pantry. Have yet to make any of it. :)

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had a similar experience with orzo recently. We looked all over only to find it nestled in with the other pastas like it's something normal. Once I FINALLY got my ingredients together, greek orzo salad was actually fast and yummy. But. Now you've got me interested in Quinoa. I didn't think I could ever find it in a real grocery store, so I hadn't really looked into it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm excited to try it. Let me know if you try it!

      Delete
  9. haha that is so funny!
    but I love to cook!!
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  10. Fantastic. Thanks for the follow. Will be over to yours soon! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It was my Dad who corrected my pronunciation...not "quin-O-a", like I thought. If I can't pronounce it, how can I cook it?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm a fan of both the kitchen and the takeout menu.
    And don't worry about forgetting the ginger.
    Tuna casserole has been served in our house without the tuna. didn't even realize it until we were cleaning up after and saw the unopened can on the counter.

    And quinoa is pretty tasty if you find the time to make it. (I think there are some quick cook versions)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's hilarious.

      Yes, I'm going to make a recipe someone sent me tonight for dinner. I'm excited!

      Delete
  13. As a former vegetarian, I actually love quinoa, cooked with some chicken broth and some salt and pepper - delicious. Unfortunately my kids think it tastes like sand cooked in cow dung (yes, my words) so this wonderful ancient grain with all the amino acids of a protein (So sorry to be a nutrition nerd) are off our family menu. Amen for snack food supper - or wine and cheese party (without the wine for the kids, though God I wish I could if it'd make them sleep) dinner - cheese, baguette, hummos, edamame, carrots, grapes, apples. Easy and fabulous. And they actually eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a dinner I can definitely get behind! That does sound delicious!

      Delete