I DON'T QUINOA

Mags: "Mama, you make the best dinners ever. This is so delicious, except for the potatoes. They are gross."

I can heat up chicken nuggets and fry a grilled cheese like nobody's business. I can make sides of fruit and raw vegetables in two seconds flat. Every night is the same battle in my head, though. What to make for dinner? I am not a 'cook' that thinks out of the box. Heck, I'm not a cook at all. I don't try to get creative with spices and exotic ingredients. Mostly because I end up wandering up and down aisles in the grocery store looking for them and then end up completely frustrated. Let's take this recipe for example:  Ginger Pot Roast with Quinoa Salad and Ginger Pineapple Compote. 

I immediately see this and get out my iPhone to ask Siri what 'Quinoa' is. She sends me a link. Thanks, Siri, you are so helpful.  The website tells me this particular food came from the ancient Incas and how it's shaped like small, oval, white beads that cook like rice. However, these suckers plump up to four times their original size. Awesome. The kids will love it if it looks like some sort of pasta. Never mind this website calls it the "super grain of the future". SCORE! Oh, and it has a similar taste to couscous. Even better. 

From this description, I know exactly where to find it. I strut down the rice aisle, being all sophisticated-like, looking for Quinoa. I pass by the Minute Rice and Uncle Ben's. Nothing. I must have missed it. I go back to the middle of the aisle and start down again. I scan the bottom shelves, top shelves, and all the shelves in between. Nope. Still nothing. I walk back out of the aisle and see a smiling lady stocking shelves full of Lucky Charms.

"Can I help you find something, Honey?"

I explain I am looking for Quinoa. What is this helpful lady's response? 

"What the heck is that?" 

Great. The lady who WORKS at the grocery store doesn't even know. She tells me since it is such a fancy name (I kid you not), I should look in the "exotic food" aisle. This is what this lady called it. In reality it just one aisle of sticky rice and taco making kits. However, on the bottom shelf, there it was! Quinoa. Woohoo! 

I got so excited. Pathetic, I know. I grabbed a bag and checked out with the rest of my weekly groceries. By the time I got home, I was full of myself because I was being so adventurous (for me). I pulled out my ingredients and started to get them in order. That's when I realized that I forgot something. The Ginger Root. AAAAH! Since it's in the name of the recipe...TWICE...I guess it is a necessity for success.

My new found cooking ego deflated like a balloon. Sigh. Then I looked closer at the recipe and saw the cooking time was almost three hours. Oh, heck no! I'll save this one for some Sunday when I'm 65, have time on my hands, and my grandchildren are coming over to visit. After all, they did say that Quinoa is the super grain of the future! 

So, who wants some chicken nuggets?