Sunday, April 22, 2012

TRIFEXTRA: Goldi's Lock Up

This post is in response to Trifecta's Trifextra Weekend Challenge. This is what they had to say about it:

"Now for the weekend challenge: we want you to give us a re-telling of the classic Goldilocks and the Three Bears story.  You can change the setting, the characters, and whatever details you wish, but the story should still be recognizable to us.  Keep the spirit of the original work, but make it your own.  And for once?  You have no word limit."


GOLDI'S LOCK UP

“Everybody rise. Court is now in session. The honorable Judge Grimm is now presiding.”

The defendant was noticeably twitchy. She watched intently as the judge sat himself in the chair, looked the papers handed to him by the clerk, and spun to face the courtroom. He looked back and forth between the words on the white, flimsy paper and her. As he read, low growls of disgust were emitted from his mouth. He sighed, put the paper down, and stared down the young girl.

“Young Lady, it says here that you are being charged with not only breaking and entering, but also destruction of property and stealing. Stealing food from a baby, in fact! Would you care to comment on these charges?”

She gulped audibly.


“Ye-Ye-Yes your honor” she stated as she stumbled over her words. “To be fair, the door was open to the cottage when I got there. I had been wandering through the woods for days, Sir. I was hungry, cold, tired, and upset. You see, I had a really bad fight with my mother. She said I was lazy, didn’t have a job, and needed to either live by her rules or not live in her house at all.”  

Uncontrollable sobs overtook her. She had been locked in a holding cell with a grumpy, old troll who insisted he was innocent and had every right to defend his bridge for a few days now.

“Is your mother here in this courtroom with us today?” The judge asked a bit more tenderly.

“No, Sir. She won’t answer her phone. I really am very sorry. I didn't mean to cause them any harm.”

“I know you didn’t think you were doing any harm, but there is a Mama Bear instinct in the plaintiff I’m not sure you can understand just yet. You invaded their space and stole food from their cub. You know what the punishment is for that type of crime in nature? Let's just say if I put you in a cell with them, well, they’d eat you alive.”

The girl shivered and cried. 


“Oh, Sir, please!  I promise if you give me a chance I will go fix the chair I broke, remake the beds, and cook them a fresh batch of porridge. To be honest, theirs was a little bland and I have this wonderful recipe that includes brown sugar and walnuts. You can even make it in the crockpot. It's quite nice.”

The judge caught himself as he began to yawn, shook his head, and sat up straight.


“As it seems, you did not have malicious intent. I have two curious children of my own who have got themselves into some hot water from time to time. I am assigning you 50 hours of community service in the park across from the courthouse. Some billy goats have eaten all the grass on the other side of the bridge, so it could use some replanting."

The judge continued on as he pointed down at the young girl.


“I certainly  hope I do not see you back in my courtroom again. Do we have an understanding?”

She nodded her head vigorously. 


“Yes, Your Honor. I promise. This experience has really taught me a valuable lesson.”

“Oh, really? What’s that?”


“Well, Your Honor, the moral of this story is to always be respectful to your mother.”

The judge smiled.

"Well said. Now go on, get out of here, and live happily ever after."



33 comments:

  1. Great story! And great way to weave in references to other fairytales and fairytale characters too. This is a great take on the prompt. I loved it. And sort of like one of those Aesop's fables too, with the moral at the end of the story. :D

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    1. Thank you so much! Tomorrow morning I'm reading all the other entries. You have one, right? I always enjoy yours!

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  2. Great job Mel! Love the" law and order" twist you gave it! xx :)

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    1. Thanks! I had 3 versions and this one stuck. ;)

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  3. Golidlocks does break and enter. I'm glad you exposed her criminal record and made her pay.

    This would make a great Law & Order Fairy Tale UNit

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    1. Haha! I wonder if L&O has a Twitter handle I could pitch that to. Thanks, Lance!

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  4. ding ding (insert L&O tones here) :)

    cute

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    1. Haha! Funny thing is, I've never seen an episode of Law and Order. ;)

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  5. Yay! Great moral! Seriously, this was very well-written and creative :)

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  6. What a beautiful way to retell this story. I enjoyed reading your version.

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  7. This is terrific. I really liked it. I think all the allusions are great, I liked the billy goat one the best. Not to detract from its overall perfection, but you may want to consider editing "She shook her head vigorously" to "She nodded her head vigorously" because at first I thought she had said "No" to the judge. Until she speaks in the next sentence. It's just a thought. This story would get a vote from me if we were doing the voting thing.

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    1. Thank you so much. That is a great suggestion and I just made the change. Thanks for taking the time to let me know!

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  8. A fun take on the prompt. The courtroom scene (Judge Grimm!) was very creative.

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    1. Thanks, Tara. I really liked yours as well.

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  9. I enjoyed reading your post. Loved your take on it and you did a great job executing it. I look forward to reading more of your entries in the coming weeks.

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  10. Hehehhe... that was great. I love the whole court process. Goldie was a little bit of a thief, though I am not sure she had to break in to get what she got, but vandalism was most certainly part of the scene. GREAT job!

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  11. Never before considered the aftermath of Goldie's tale. Creative!

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  12. To be perfectly honest, the Mother sounds horrible. I might not bail my kid out, but I'd by god show upin in court. I loved the billy goats and their grass. Poor troll. They should have left him in place. Kind of like taking the wolves out of their natural habitat.

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  13. Great! I am glad she got her due. :-) You did a great job making references to other fairy tale characters too. :-)

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  14. Mags, I agree with Jester, the mother is a bitch. She should have been there! The whole story is original, yet a fine spin on the Goldilocks story. Congrats on a great write. Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/04/20/dreadlocks-and-the-three-rednecks-trifecta/

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  16. Very creative indeed. I love how you bring in other stories too, with the troll and the goats. And I always thought that Goldilocks had gotten away with it! I liked this a lot. Hope to see you back for the weekday challenge.

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