Tuesday, April 17, 2012

THE TRUTH BEHIND CRAMPS

Tuck, our six-year-old, was complaining about cramps in his stomach last night. He had drank a bottle of water on our drive to gymnastics class and then was running, bouncing, and flipping all over the place. He kept coming out to me to complain about the cramps in his belly and show off the sloshing sound in his stomach. He made it through the class, but continued to fuss about the uncomfortable feeling most of the ride home. Since he didn't feel like I was getting the idea about how bad it felt, he gave me this description:

"Mama, It feels like I swallowed a bunch of gnomes and they are all poking me with their pointy hats." 


After that I couldn't stop imagining little yard gnomes grinning as they jabbed my son's insides. I did some breathing exercises with him to help with the cramps and explained how gulping the bottle of water before class probably was not the best idea. Once we got home, the pain had alleviated a bit. However, as soon as we walked up the stairs and he had a brand new audience (our four-year-old), those gnomes started poking full force. 

 Here is the conversation that occurred between my kids as a result:

Tuck: "Mags, don't hug me too hard, I feel like I ate a bunch of gnomes and their hats are poking my belly."Mags: "YOU ATE GNOMES?"
Tuck: "NO! I just FELT like I did. My belly hurts."
Mags: "Well, you shouldn't eat gnomes. Then your belly would feel better. I'm telling Mama you ate them."
Tuck: "Mama knows. I already told her."
Mags: "Mama knows you ate gnomes?"
Tuck: "Mags, LISTEN! I told Mama my BELLY hurt."
Mags: "Did you tell her you ate gnomes?" 
Tuck: " I didn't really eat them, Mags. I was just saying I FELT like I ate gnomes with pointy hats. That's how my belly feels. Like someone is poking me."
Mags: "Oooooh! So it feels like this? *pokes his belly hard*
Tuck: "Ouch! Why did you poke me? You know my belly hurts!" 
Mags: "Because you shouldn't eat gnomes. That's rude."

The moral of this story is you should listen to your mother and not gulp a bottle of water before gymnastics class. You should also not begin a story by telling your four-year-old sister that you feel like you ate gnomes. She will only hear the words "you ate gnomes". Lessons learned. POKE!

47 comments:

  1. What an awesome conversation!!! Kids do say the darndest things :)

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    1. They are hilarious and really keep you on your toes! :P

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  2. That's HILARIOUS. Stupid gnomes and their pointy little hats.

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  3. I love the conversations kids have. I am relieved by reading this. I now know I am still a child at heart because my conversation would have been EXACTLY like your children's conversation above. One really shouldn't eat gnomes. He is lucky they only decided to poke him with their hats. It could have been worse.

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  4. I will never think of a stomach ache the same way again! I love the things kids come up with. What a great story!

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  5. Hehe, I love that conversation.

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  6. What an imagination! I love that description. So cute!

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    1. Their imaginations are crazy. I love what they come out with!

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  7. Very cute story. But I did hear that they had come out with Gnome Gatorade.

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  8. Gnomes are best with wasabi.
    And root beer.
    Sometimes a tums is required.
    WG
    http://itsmynd.com

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    1. Good to know! I love root beer so that's a bonus!

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  9. Hahahahh sounds like he learned his lesson about the gnomes - I mean, water. About the water.

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  10. The whole time I couldn't figure out how your 6 year old new what a gnome was and then I remembered that animated movie. Gnomes scare me and the image of them poking the inside of my belly really scares me!

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  11. HA! I must agree with Mags eating gnomes does seem pretty rude. I'm sure the gnomes thought so at least.

    Great story!

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    1. I know...and where the heck is he getting this supply of gnomes I wonder? :)

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  12. Funny stuff! Love those kinds of conversations. But really, stupid gnomes. I've never trusted them. ;) Ellen

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    1. I don't trust them either! Horrible little things. :P

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  13. Ugh, I hate that "Gnome belly feeling." I love the concrete thought process, though! Abstract thought is so depressingly grown-up.

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  14. You have wonderful kids! They are so simple, they say the funniest things, don't they? :)

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    1. Exactly. I love their thought process. How they make connections to things is amazing.

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  15. That conversation must have been hilarious live because it was so funny to read! Your kids sound so cute!

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  16. haha. I love listening to my kids (same ages). latest older to younger: "if mom dies, we can totally pick out a new one" - - haha. guess that viewing of cinderella on our road trip got his wheels turning. or he's ticked i made him watch another princess movie with his sister.

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    1. LOL! That is hilarious! (not you dying part, but how they think they can just get another one) Darn Disney!

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  17. ROFLMBO!!! Loved this....having a four year old grandaughter with a 6 year old sister, it's very believable!

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  18. What a wonderful description -- maybe you have a writer in the making there!

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  19. That is awesome. Hahaha! I hear my 7 and 4 year old having these types of conversations often and it always makes me giggle.

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    1. They keep me laughing. :) Thanks for dropping by.

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  20. LOL. Kids are awesome. They are the original authors of the world.

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  21. Ha! For years she will be convinced he ate gnomes. Love it.

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    1. That's what I am hoping for! Thanks for visiting!

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  22. I'm glad I'm not the only one who says stuff like this. Can't you imagine the lunchtime conversations they'll have at school? "I ate too many gnomes last night." "Oh yeah? I have thirteen triceratops babies in my bowels right now!"

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  23. Thank god you don't live in Alaska, or it would be a whole sort of "did he eat the city" thing, on top of it all, and THAT could cause problems. But I am sensing a theme for the next birthday cake...gnome-shaped? gnome hats?

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  24. That was awesome! Of all the analogies, I don't think I'd ever pull up Gnomes w/pointy hats. Got to love kids!

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