THE START OF THE FIRE
“Welcome home.”
Saturday, July 28, 2012
TRIFEXTRA: The Start of the Fire
This post is in response to Trifecta's Trifextra Weekend Challenge. They asked that I give them a 33-word opening line to my book. That's it. Make them want to read the next 333 pages of my work. This is a great concept. It really took me a long time to complete. I ended up going back to the first story I ever submitted to Trifecta, called The Fire and decided to work off of that. Enjoy!
Loretta’s arms, holding a box labeled “Baby’s Room”, were begging to be relieved. Setting it by the crib, she took a moment to catch her breath. A whisper tickled her ear.
“Welcome home.”
“Welcome home.”
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This sounds like a very happy event that I would like to read about.
ReplyDeleteInteresting take on my writing. Thanks!
DeleteWell, I'd like to chalk this up to some major distraction, like a six car pile-up, but the truth is, I didn't read your title. Hence, I missed the boat. Mea culpa. But I still want to read the story now that I know about the fire. Happy stories are overrated anyway! :/
DeleteOh! I liked how you saw it without knowing the other story. I could see it that way, too. Great thing about Trifecta is all the different views! ;)
DeleteYea, I'm having fun with all the speculation. Thx for letting me off the hook so politely :)
DeleteI really liked your thoughts! :P
DeleteYes, I would read the next 333 pages.
ReplyDeleteLink to that first story please?
It's linked to the fire. I'll send it to you, though. You are that special. :P
DeleteI read it differently, it was very sad to me.
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Tara. It was meant to be. :)
Deletethis sounds like it could be a cheery tale (:
ReplyDeleteCool. I think it could be. :)
DeleteIt seems to start upbeat, but then there's a fire... So, you've got me curious :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Libby!
DeleteA happy start.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading!
DeleteThis is eerie. I would want to read on to find out who the whisper came from, and if it was comforting or made her fearful.
ReplyDeleteJanna, you got it. I'm going to be working on it. Thanks!
DeleteDefinitely raises some questions - I'd continue reading this one.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kelly!
DeleteThanks, Kelly!
DeleteI felt sadness here then read title which gave me more direction.
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Gina. Thanks!
DeleteIt was the baby, huh? The BABY was the one who whispered in her ear. (Smiling knowingly)
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. Totally intriguing. Great job. More, please.
Totally the baby. :P
DeleteI'm hoping to work more on this one. Sometime. When I have some time. HAAHAHA!
Yep, I had to go back and read the other piece. Nice start!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteThe combo of a fire and "welcome home" leaves me very intrigued and I really have no clue as to the outcome: happy or sad story?
ReplyDeleteIt has a sad tone to it, definitely. Thanks for reading,Marie!
DeleteYou've got my attention, Mel! I went back and read The Fire and then really wants the story to continue! I can't wait to read the rest. I am intrigued. Seriously well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy. I appreciate it!
DeleteI LOVED THIS! I read the original and now I know. How very chilling, yet touching and sad and just awesome your plot and characterizations are. Would love to read more of this story!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I'm hoping I can develop it at some point.
DeleteI don't even have to click the link--I remember that story very, very well. (That's kind of saying a lot, given the number of stories we've read!) I enjoyed that story very much back then, and I love an elaboration and reminder of it now. Great job with the prompt. Hope to see you back again soon.
ReplyDeleteThis just made my night. Thank you so much!!
DeleteIt's interesting that some see this as a happy scene - I'm envisioning something very tragic. Great piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through all the Trifecta links, and am brand new there. LOVING what I am reading so far!
New follower and fan.
xo
Christine
@thatgalkiki
Yes! consider that we all have plenty to write - who wants to start a NEW project?! Also many times we start in the middle, so thanks for opening the story/scene/mood :)
ReplyDelete