Saturday, July 28, 2012

TRIFEXTRA: The Start of the Fire

This post is in response to Trifecta's Trifextra Weekend Challenge. They asked that I give them a 33-word opening line to my book.  That's it.  Make them want to read the next 333 pages of my work. This is a great concept. It really took me a long time to complete. I ended up going back to the first story I ever submitted to Trifecta, called The Fire and decided to work off of that. Enjoy!


THE START OF THE FIRE
Loretta’s arms, holding a box labeled “Baby’s Room”, were begging to be relieved. Setting it by the crib, she took a moment to catch her breath. A whisper tickled her ear.

“Welcome home.”

37 comments:

  1. This sounds like a very happy event that I would like to read about.

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    1. Interesting take on my writing. Thanks!

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    2. Well, I'd like to chalk this up to some major distraction, like a six car pile-up, but the truth is, I didn't read your title. Hence, I missed the boat. Mea culpa. But I still want to read the story now that I know about the fire. Happy stories are overrated anyway! :/

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    3. Oh! I liked how you saw it without knowing the other story. I could see it that way, too. Great thing about Trifecta is all the different views! ;)

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    4. Yea, I'm having fun with all the speculation. Thx for letting me off the hook so politely :)

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  2. Yes, I would read the next 333 pages.
    Link to that first story please?

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    1. It's linked to the fire. I'll send it to you, though. You are that special. :P

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  3. I read it differently, it was very sad to me.

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  4. this sounds like it could be a cheery tale (:

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  5. It seems to start upbeat, but then there's a fire... So, you've got me curious :)

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  6. This is eerie. I would want to read on to find out who the whisper came from, and if it was comforting or made her fearful.

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    1. Janna, you got it. I'm going to be working on it. Thanks!

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  7. Definitely raises some questions - I'd continue reading this one.

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  8. I felt sadness here then read title which gave me more direction.

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  9. It was the baby, huh? The BABY was the one who whispered in her ear. (Smiling knowingly)

    Just kidding. Totally intriguing. Great job. More, please.

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    1. Totally the baby. :P

      I'm hoping to work more on this one. Sometime. When I have some time. HAAHAHA!

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  10. Yep, I had to go back and read the other piece. Nice start!

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  11. The combo of a fire and "welcome home" leaves me very intrigued and I really have no clue as to the outcome: happy or sad story?

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    1. It has a sad tone to it, definitely. Thanks for reading,Marie!

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  12. You've got my attention, Mel! I went back and read The Fire and then really wants the story to continue! I can't wait to read the rest. I am intrigued. Seriously well done!

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  13. I LOVED THIS! I read the original and now I know. How very chilling, yet touching and sad and just awesome your plot and characterizations are. Would love to read more of this story!

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm hoping I can develop it at some point.

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  14. I don't even have to click the link--I remember that story very, very well. (That's kind of saying a lot, given the number of stories we've read!) I enjoyed that story very much back then, and I love an elaboration and reminder of it now. Great job with the prompt. Hope to see you back again soon.

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    1. This just made my night. Thank you so much!!

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  15. It's interesting that some see this as a happy scene - I'm envisioning something very tragic. Great piece.

    I'm going through all the Trifecta links, and am brand new there. LOVING what I am reading so far!

    New follower and fan.

    xo

    Christine
    @thatgalkiki

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  16. Yes! consider that we all have plenty to write - who wants to start a NEW project?! Also many times we start in the middle, so thanks for opening the story/scene/mood :)

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