Wednesday, January 9, 2013

TIME TO FLY

This post is in response to three prompt writing link-ups. The first is Speakeasy over at Yeah Write, the second is 100 Word Song over at My Blog Can Beat Up Your Blog and 100 Words over at Velvet Verbosity. 

Credit picture: Speakeasy

TIME TO FLY

The footsteps paused briefly at her doorway. She felt her jaw tighten like a rubber band ready to snap. She turned her head ever so slightly to acknowledge his presence, but not enough to give him permission. His pain was apparent as he took in a limp breath. She’d fought back. This time. Just like the ducks at the pond, she would stay a while for the benefits, but knew there was a better life for her beyond.  She’d build up strength. Then, just at the right moment and without warning, she’d spread her wings and take flight, leaving only dust.

20 comments:

  1. That you answered three prompts in one post makes you a demigod to me. And that line ... "She turned her head ever so slightly to acknowledge his presence, but not enough to give him permission" was my favorite.

    Well done, Mel.

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    Replies
    1. That was my favorite line as well. I had to work around it a few times because I wanted to keep it in there. Thanks for being an awesome editor. :)

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  2. brilliant. Great emotional content and I love the last two lines.

    I combined 3 prompts yesterday, too. It's hard, isn't it.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Lance. It was challenging, but worth it. :) Thanks for hosting!

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  3. So much is given away in this perfectly concise paragraph. It speaks volumes.

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  4. Powerful and like Georgina said, concise and telling a whole story of a couple's history in so few words. Excellent!

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  5. I love what you did with so few words. Awesome!

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  6. I agree with the people above. Very powerful.

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  7. lovely little piece. stand well alone.

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  8. I agree that 3 prompts at once is wonder-making stuff. Short, sweet(?), and engaging.
    dk

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  9. Wow, very well done!

    There was a lot of dark/spooky elements in a lot of the submissions this week. I wonder if you're all feeling a little light deprived, it being winter and all. ;)

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  10. You have brilliantly captured the lifetime of a relationship in one hundred words, Mel. Expertly done.

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