Monday, March 11, 2013

Bewitched: A Letter to My Daughter

Today, I have a special treat for you! It's a special guest post from my husband, Chris. Please give him a warm welcome. Enjoy!

Me: “Who was your favorite character?”

Tucker (7 yo): “The Wizard.”

Maggie (5 yo): “The Wicked Witch, of course. She’s so darn, stinkin’ awesome.”



Dear Future Maggie,

Some day a man will lie to you. He will attempt to deceive you by dancing with you, flattering you, and making you feel like you are the most important woman in his world. I know this because I have done this in the past. I know this because more than once a woman has done this to me. You will be heartbroken when you discover the truth. The emptiness you feel inside will beg to be filled. Nature, as it turns out, abhors a vacuum. Something will want to rush in to fill the void. At this moment, you will have a choice.

You could let darkness consume you, turning cold and spiteful. If that man is with another, you might feel a jealous rage turning you (almost literally) green with envy. It will be painful. It will be tragic. It will be ugly.

Or, you could choose to be courageous. You could look past the hurt to the light that burns inside. The swindler does not deserve any more of your time. He is passing through life unable to see anything but himself. When he looks back at this moment (and trust me, he will) let him realize that this was his loss, not yours. Your worth is not measured by his attention. Do not be tempted to swallow the fruit that will taste so bitter. Bring forth the powerful greatness that is your spirit. Choose to forgive and continue on with all your majesty.

This decision will help shape who you are and who you will be. Like a beacon, personalities will be drawn to you based on your choice. If you choose darkness, then you will be surrounded by those who are monsters themselves. They will wrap you in a cloak of discontent and feed off your misery. If you choose goodness, those who radiate strength and inner clarity will find their way to you. Lean on one another for support and trust in their resolve.

Follow the road that leads you to experience golden, shining moments. Look beyond the grey that this man brings to see the brilliant colors all around you. Most importantly, gaze inward. Let your inner beauty be your guide. Use your mind, heart, and courage to unlock the magic inside yourself.

Love,

Dad

P.S. And remember, there’s no place like home.






32 comments:

  1. She's a lucky girl to have a daddy like you. She has a wonderful example as to how a relationship should be. You two have set a wonderful example!

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  2. What a very lucky girl! As a mom of two boys I will do my part to make sure they grow up to treat daughter's like yours with respect & honesty. :)

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  3. Stephanie WhitmoreMarch 11, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    Very sweet! Love it!

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  4. Beautiful. Chris is an amazing example of a great man and how they behave. Which means she will find one just like him for her own partner :)

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  5. That was a very moving and inspirational letter from a loving Dad. Beautiful!

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  6. Chris...What a precious gift to a precious daughter. As the mama of a son, I'm trying to raise a modern-day knight...one who is honest, courageous, responsible, honorable and stable. May we all use our past hurt for our children's gain!

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  7. Awe... I love this. You guys are so great!

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  8. Perfect. The hope is your little girl will heed these words when she's older and faced with difficult choices. well done, pop.

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  9. This is SO, SO beautiful. I have no doubt that Future Mags will choose goodness, courage and light with you both as examples to her. She will have high standards in future companions, as they will have to live up to her daddy...and that is a great thing! Thanks so very much for sharing.

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  10. Oh, this is lovely. I really hope you do give this to Mags when she experiences her first heartbreak. Your letter took me back to when my college boyfriend shattered my heart. He wasn't a swindler, but I had that emptiness, that ache. It took many long months to pick up the pieces and move on. But I did. I let the light shine again. And then years later, met my true love. :-)

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    1. Thanks JD! I'm setting a timer on my phone for 11 years from now. When it goes off it will say, "Show Mags OZ post". :)

      Those heartbreaks, like the one you had with your college boyfriend, absolutely suck but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I might sound like Captain Kirk here, but "I need my pain!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLzJAebfEIg&playnext=1&list=PL4E36283B40EECD55&feature=results_video

      Thanks for the kind words about the post! Glad you liked it!

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    2. Here, this link is easier to get to (unless you're a Star Trek geek and have this memorized) - http://bit.ly/needmypainvideo

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  11. This is beautiful! My daughter is three and I dread the day she has her heart broken. (I dread that day for my sons too) I remember the pain of those days and know I can't spare them. Such sound advice-to choose goodness so that goodness will surround you!

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    1. I never want my kids to be hurt but yet I let go of that bike knowing for certain he/she was going to fall off three or four pumps in. You've gotta let them experience the scraping of knees and bonking of heads. This is at least one way we learn to grow so we recognize what to do differently next time. That hurt sucks in the moment but without it we'd lack the wisdom necessary to make better choices next time.

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  12. Hi.
    I don't know you, but in this moment, I know why Mel chose you to love. She's lucky and so are you.
    If I had a daughter I would share this with her and for the little girl in all of us, who were the victim of a swindler...I am so happy you wrote that for all of us.

    honestly, these lines:
    "The swindler does not deserve any more of your time. He is passing through life unable to see anything but himself. When he looks back at this moment (and trust me, he will) let him realize that this was his loss, not yours. Your worth is not measured by his attention"

    are some of the most beautiful I've read this week. As the mom of two boys, I hope that I always teach them that love and relationships will fall apart..but it's the behavior of each other afterwards that shows your true character. If you cannot treat a person like a human being or render them a "mistake"that ache will continue. It does better to be kind with a heart.

    wow, I just can't say enough about this letter..Mags is so lucky to have a dad like you.

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    1. Wow! Thanks Kir!

      You are so spot on with what I've come to understand about relationships, especially romantic ones that don't work. Don't languish over what's been lost. Appreciate the fun you had and then move on with head held high!

      Looks like we've all learned this lesson!
      Thanks again for the high praise!

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  13. Wow, this is beautiful. As someone mentioned above, I have all boys. I want to show them this and say, don't ever be a jerk to girls. Just wonderful. I hope you save this for her.

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    1. I was a young boy once Kathy. I had my heartbroken more than once. You'll probably see one of your boys holding back tears once or twice over a girl too. It sucks for all but, if we're lucky, we can learn from it to make better choices in the future. As your name suggests, gotta smooch some amphibians before you can appreciate cuddling with a teddy bear!

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  14. What a profound and beautiful note. I can imagine my husband writing this sort of thing to our daughters. The best thing to deter a woman from falling for the wrong guys? A good dad. Great job!

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    1. I hope you're right Julie. Here's hoping it is just in the movies where daughters rebel and go after the wrong sort of guys :)
      Thanks for the vote of confidence!

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  15. Beautiful. Your daughter is incredibly blessed to have you as a father.

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    1. Aww! That's sweet of you to say! It's easier to be a good dad when your kid is 5. Check back with us in 11 years and we'll see how things are then :) Still, I'm optimistic she won't hate me when she is 16 :)

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  16. I think what I like most about this letter is that it could be have been written 10, 100 or even 1,000 years ago. Your words are poetic, Chris ... and your message timeless. A beautiful sentiment from a father to his girl.

    Of course, are any of us really scared FOR Maggie? Isn't it really of matter of men being scared OF her? That little sister is a powerhouse. :)

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    1. You are exactly right ODNT! That is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid Maggie will get a taste of that power she'll have over men and like it!

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  17. Beautiful, and so true. I hope she get's this. I wish someone had talked so candidly with me about those pesky men :-) I did find a winner eventually, but it wouldn't have hurt to have some great advice first!

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    2. Jen, Gotta kiss some frogs right? :) These experiences make us stronger, better people able to see the princes and princesses from the toads. :)

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  18. Beyond beautiful. Thank you for sharing these incredibly powerful words. I will save this and read it to my children when they are older. What you are saying is so important for our daughters and our sons to learn, to know, and to live. I love this post, and am so happy to have found this blog through the Honest Voices link-up. Incredible! Thank you.

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    1. Thanks Nikki! I hope it helps provide some guidance somewhere along the way! I'm sure your little Munchkins will grow up to be wonderful people!

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