Mags: "If I eat plants, I'm a 'hore'...a 'hore'...a 'horbivore'."
Me: "Close! HERBivore."
Mags: "How do you know all this stuff?"
Me: "From going to school and reading. You'll get there. But, I'm still learning."
This week, a blogger named Mama Kat posted her Writer's Workshop. One of the prompts was to write about 10 things you DON'T know how to do. A list of my failures immediately started swirling and collecting in my brain. Once I had a moment to sit down and organize my thoughts, I got ten things together.
I don't know how to:
1. Juggle more than two balls. (You in the back, get your mind out of the gutter.) I'm serious. I even tried to learn from a professional once. I'm fine with two, but add that third in there and it's over.
2. Transform Transformers. That's great that they give you instructions, but, like juggling, by the second step and visual, I'm a goner. I twist, turn, pull and swear under my breath. In the end, all I have to show for it is sweat dripping down my back, a crying child and blood blisters.
3. Let go of an argument. I stew, simmer and stir about that misunderstanding for hours before I'm over it.
4. Not feel guilty. Chris jokes that I wake up feeling guilty. Do I? Oh, gosh. Does this bug you? Okay. I'll stop. Sorry.
5. Stop biting my nails. I KNOW! It's gross. But I don't know how to stop it. It's my go-to thing when I'm nervous, anxious, excited...or really anytime.
6. Say NO. I cannot say N-O. It always comes out Y-E-S.
7. Brine meat. Okay. I don't even know what this means. But I see people writing on Facebook how they "brine their meat"... wait a minute ... this is a cooking term, right?
8. Stop eating Cadbury Mini Eggs. Seriously. An intervention is needed. If I'm calling it on myself, you know it's bad.
9. Hook up the jumper cables to two cars. Which ones do you hook first, again? In which order? Don't touch which colors together? Oh, goodness. You're just better off buying a new battery.
10. SLEEP! After seven years of interrupted sleep patterns due to newborns, toddlers, croup, wet beds, and night terrors, *I* am now learning how to sleep through the night again. Hmmm. I wonder if Ferber has a sleep-training model for parents?
What are some things YOU don't know how to do?
Feel free to share with me in the comments.