Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Evil Dead for Scaredy Cats

Chris: "I cannot believe I am sitting next to you right now in the theatre for the Evil Dead movie. Are you sure about this? You know the poster for the movie said it's the most terrifying movie you'll ever see, right?"

Me: (glaring at him)

Chris: "I'll shut up now."

Credit: Evil Dead 
I surprised Chris on Saturday night by taking him to see the remake of this cult classic. I, of course, have never seen it. Remember? I have big, gaping holes in my movie library.

We met up with another couple who were also big fans of the original. As the movie started, it dove right into the gore. The director wasted no time disturbing the heck out of me with a scene that made me assume the "fingers in my ears, eyes on the floor" position for the duration of the movie. The only time I knew something was extra gory or shocking was when Chris would grab onto my knee or my sweet friend, Amanda, would whisper, "DON'T LOOK!" in my already blocked ear.

As we were driving home after the movie, I couldn't help but point out the similarities I saw to a book that is one of our family's favorites, "The Monster at the End of this Book" with furry, loveable, old Grover. I was most likely trying to grasp at anything comforting. But, seriously, think about it. They could have been written together to create a version for big scaredy, squeamish cats like me. Both the movie and the book had warnings throughout.

Here let me show you...and please know there will be spoilers for both the movie and the Little Golden Book in the following re-creation. Don't say I didn't WARN you.

A book is presented in the movie to the audience. 
It is known as "The Book of the Dead." 
And right away, you know the book is bad.

Grover helps out by sharing an idea.

This guy can't help himself. He has to do it. He HAS to turn the page.

Naturally, Grover FREAKS OUT. 
(I know where he's coming from. It sucks when no one listens to you.)

The next page displays MORE warnings that are blatantly
 ignored by the page turning dude.

He DOES say it.
He DOES write it.
He DOES read it.

Don't tell him what to do, 'Book of the Dead.'

Great! Now look what he's done. Reading those words obviously caused a change in Grover. See the stars SPEWING from his mouth?
That's not normal.

Even the heroine in the story is frustrated. Or possessed. 
Pretty sure it's both.

Grover gets himself together and comes up with ANOTHER idea. 
Nails and chains should definitely do the trick. 

Or NOT. 

For the love of jellybeans, look at this little blue monster.
He's PLEADING with this dude to NOT turn the page. 
Of course, the page turning fool will have to listen. 

WRONG! Mr. Turny McTurnington just turns the page AGAIN! 
Wow, 'Book of the Dead,' that's a little harsh, don't you think? 
I mean, Grover can be a bit whiny and needy, 
but suck my soul dry? Really?

And look! Grover didn't need to be scared. What a worry wart. 
Turns out the only monster at the end of the book WAS Grover. 
He's even admitting there was nothing to be afraid of. 

Or NOT! Pretty sure Grover just peed his fur. 

No worries, Grover. It happens to everybody. 

And at the end of OUR story, everyone lives, there's minimal blood loss
and the page turning dude has to clean up Grover's mess. 

C'mon! It's only fair. 


  1. BWHAHAHAH what is sad is I OWNED this book.. the Grover one that is.. when I was little. Grover was my favorite muppet. Yeah I won't be seeing Evil dead anytime soon..

  2. Ryan loved that Grover book when he was little and still does. As for the movie...NEVER!!!

  3. Grover and Cookie Monster were always my favorite. Only...I don't think Cookie Monster reads much?! Maybe he eats books?! Well you had me in stitches!! Although that little peekaboo picture kind of burned my eyes. If I have nightmares I'm tweeting you at 2am!!! I just LOVE LOVE LOVED this. Just hysterical!!!!

  4. Yikes!!!! I'm a chicken when it comes to horror movies. I saw the trailer for this in a theater for another movie and I had to look down! There was a time in my life I liked to to torture myself by going to these movies, but I've banned myself years ago. So...was it a good movie?!

  5. I loved that book. The Sesame Street one, I mean.

  6. I assumed a very similar position during the movie. Head down, hands over eyes with fingers spread just a little bit so I could only see enough not to scare myself to death. :)

  7. Loved this! Even the commercials weird me out! That "kid" coming out from the floor, is the worst! I'll stick with Grover.;-)

  8. i read the grover book to lyla, my 9-year-old when she was 1 and 2 years old. she would turn the pages before I could finish the words. so, my middle daughter would conjur those demons without even thinking about it. good thing she's a purple belt in judo.

    i liked the original. how's the remake overall?

  9. hi, i’m following the “i don’t like mondays” blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

    new follower bev

  10. Yup, I have to give you credit for going to the movie. If I can't hide behind a pillow in the comfort of my own home, it ain't happening.
    Also, I remember that Grover book. It seems like there was a copy at the doctor's office when I was a kid.

  11. I loved that book - haven't thought about it in years. And now I am going to have nightmares about that creepy possessed girl peeking out of the floor. But the way you combined the movie and the book was brilliant!

  12. Oh wow, so that's what this is! I was in NYC the other day and saw one of those huge billboards on the side of a building and it was the Evil Dead photo above. I was just thinking "i like what she's wearing; cool" lol God, zombies are just IT baby! ;)