Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Me: "Mags please go to your room to think about what you just did."
Mags: (from her room) "This really isn't working for me!"

I laughed hard in the kitchen by myself when she said this. I hear ya, Mags! It really isn't working for me either. I stood there chuckling, releasing the frustration of our overall day together. It felt like how I perceive the Hulk feels when he turns back into Bruce Banner (or David Banner if you are a fan of the old 70's TV show). 

Mags and I often have low key days together. There are those days, however, when I feel like all she wants to do is see how far she can push me. Little Miss Opposite. These are the days that don't work for me. These are the days that my inner Hulk builds up. I feel like I get a deeper hue of green with every defiant "No!" or "I don't wanna do that!", until all of the sudden I am wearing purple pants and she is running for the hills. 

The thing about it is, I watch her do the same thing to Tuck.Tuck is an easy target. For her, he is no challenge. She can send him spinning like a top in one fell swoop by grabbing the Lighting McQueen car he wants.  I give him strategies to ignore her, ask her to stop politely, walk away from her, breathe deeply 10x, say a prayer...whatever works! Sometimes these things work for him and sometimes he turns into a raving lunatic running and screaming toward me begging me to make her stop. 

However, during the day, I don't have anyone to run and scream to that can make her stop. She is four. She is testing her boundaries. She is going to have her days. Just because these moments don't mesh well with my Type A personality doesn't mean that I can't make them work for me and adjust my own attitude. So, I've been trying.

I've been trying because I always feel crappy after I turn into the Hulk. My pants are ripped, my hair is a mess and I'm EXHAUSTED from it building up all day. On these days, where she wakes up with her "GAME ON" attitude, I have been working on laughing in the kitchen a little bit more by myself or taking a few extra minutes to switch over the laundry. I know she enjoys watching me spin like a top. It's fun to watch, so my husband tells me. 

Since I started changing it up a bit and throwing some curve balls at her, I am seeing a difference. I am following my own advice that I give to Tuck. I am also trying to give up some of my control and let her choose more things. "Let her win a little more" as my Dad says. This seems to make a huge difference. Elementary, my dear Watson...I know. 

For some it may be common sense but for me, it's a learning curve. My goal on these days is to co-exist somewhat peacefully. It may not always be smooth and I may have to adjust way out of my comfort level, but it's worth it.

That way, when when my husband walks in the door, I am not running and screaming towards him like a lunatic begging him to make her stop. 

Even on days when she acts like THIS!


  1. Mel,
    Visions of Morgan dance in my head. Yes, the challenging, "Little Miss Opinion" child is a tough one. I love your Hulk analogy--that is exactly how I feel some days. I know it is best to keep my cool, ignore, give her space, etc but sometimes the pants just shred--and I always feel like #$*! after. Don't think I have any advice (and sorry to burst your bubble that this is a phase she will grow out of), but at least we can commiserate. I do try to remember that these qualities (like self determination and insight into what make other people tick) that drive me crazy now can be positives in her adult life. Hang in there...

  2. Hilarious that she said that! Oh man, I had a Hulk day the other day and my husband walked in the front door as it was happening, instantly de-hulking me and turning me into a demure little brown eyed doe. "What? Yeah, I guess I yelled...a little."

  3. LOL! You've fired up the imagination! Thanks for sharing with us!

  4. We are so on the same page, except mine is almost 3. Man, she is a most excellent button pusher. I keep reminding myself that she's just testing her boundaries, but there are days....Grr, Hulk smash!

  5. "This really isn't working for me." That is too adorable! One of the best pieces of advice my mom ever gave me was to pick my battles. It's hard (and sometimes I really suck at it and turn into Hulk too), but when I follow that advice it really works.