Mags: "But who who you talk to if I go to bed?"
Me: "Daddy. He's going to call me when he gets back to his hotel room."
Mags: "OK, but don't talk about princesses or candy or anything. OK?"
You know those nights when you're the most exhausted you've ever been in your entire life? On these nights I shove the kids in bed, nestle a book in my hands, and wait for my steeping tea. I just open the book when I hear,
"Mama! I need you!"
The first needy call comes. I'm patient. I put down the book, pass by the steeping, hot tea, and go to check and see what I forgot to do. Mags is in a panic.
"I can't find my other silky (her comfort item)."
This is easy enough. I dig in the crevices of her bed, lift her pillow, and reach under her back. I find two lip glosses, a Transformer, three Cars cars, 13 books and her silky! She rolled over on it. I give her one more kiss goodnight, and then out I go.
I let out a deep breath as I head back to my chair. I pick up my tea along the way, grab the book, and sit myself down. Then I hear the second child calling out,
"Mama! I heard you give Mags and extra kiss a minute ago. I need an extra kiss, too."
I see Tuck's point. So, I put the tea down, put my finger in the same page of the book I started on, and quickly walk down the hall. I enter the room and apologize for the injustice. I tell him I thought he would already be asleep by now (hint hint). A kiss, an I love you and back to my chair.
I settle into my chair, take a sip of my lukewarm tea, and look around for the book. Where the heck did it go? I just put it down. Oh! Wait! I brought it in with me to Tuck's room. I put down the tea, huff and puff down the hall, and enter Mr. SuperAwake's room. I find it on the stand beside his bed. He is thrilled to have one last chance to try and escape.
"Do you want me to bring that out for you since Daddy's away? It looks heavy."
He's so thoughtful. I assure him that I can handle it (nice try, kid). As I am racing out of Tuck's room, book in hand, Mags peeks around the corner. Doh! So close! She dives in,
"Mama. I'm scared there are red ants in my bed. I think I felt one a minute ago and if you don't get it, it will bite me. Can you come get them out of my bed?"
I enter her room, book in hand, ready to kick some ant butt. I'm done. They are ganging up. Chris is away at a conference and they know how to play this situation to the max. I don't stand a chance.
I rush into her room and tear the sheets back. I show her there are no ants and sternly tell her that it is NOW time to sleep. There is NO more calling me unless she has to puke or is bleeding from the head, nose, or mouth. She laughs AT me, as usual.
I leave her room and beat Tuck at his own game. I scurry into his room and give him one more kiss. I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I was in Mags' room...again. I leave his room, stalk back to my chair, sit down, and take a sip of my now "iced tea". Blech! I sit there for a second, listen for any further demands, and get ready to read my book. My book...that I left in Mags' room. Forget it. I'm done. Where's my white flag?
There are some excuses I just can't ignore, though.
You know like, "I can't sleep. I'm saving the world"
What nighttime excuses do you hear in your house?