Today was the day it happened. I knew it was bound to show up.
For weeks I've kept my head down. "Eyes on the prize" so to speak. Chris and the kids kept me laughing and well distracted in anticipation for the surgery. I had projects I was working on and fun plans I was making for summer trips. I had lots and lots of support from family and friends. When the day of the surgery came I was ready. I was scared out of my mind, but ready.
It happened. It was over. I was home and recovering. I was thankful. Things went well. My husband and kids were the best caregivers ever. I got a gold star for my post-op check-up. I was fine. Mostly. Mostly is better than most, right?
Then it was finally here! What Chris and I have been waiting for. Our "big kid" trip away. We've been having a fantastic time talking, laughing, and being goofballs. But today it hit. Everything hit. I don't know what it was. I was restless. Chris even pointed it out.
"You okay, Babe?"
We were on the beach for heaven's sake without any worries or cares. Of course I was okay, but I didn't FEEL it. I felt edgy. I tried to lay down, go to the water, read a book, snack on some watermelon, drink something delicious, but the nagging feeling was overwhelming. Then the storm clouds rolled in behind us. When the clouds let go, so did I. We rushed to gather the towels, coolers, chairs and hurried off the sand as the rain poured down on us (again). That's when I noticed it. I was crying. And it felt good. As we walked back to the condo, Chris and I were able to talk through my tears. He made me laugh...to which I ended up doing a "laughcry". I love that man.
I've made such a huge leap in my healing by being here the past four days. I've been feeling much stronger physically and mentally (phew, I was worried about this one especially!). I think I needed to let go emotionally. After a solid cry in the rain, the skies look a lot brighter. I knew it was coming. The storm.
But I also know what's behind it.
Glad you had your cathartic moment. Beautiful post. Smile, my friend. You have much to look forward to ahead.
I am smiling now. Promise. Just been building and needed to come out. :)Delete
See you soon!
To quote the lovely Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."ReplyDelete
With all of that water around you everywhere, coming at you from every direction, some of it is bound to coming leaking out of your eyes. It did mine when I left Betty Beach Celebration on Saturday. It's okay, it's good for you.
I'm so glad you see what is on the other side of all those drops, too. If I was a betting girl, I'd bet my grandpa would even send you a rainbow this afternoon. Look out for one.
You are a strong, beautiful, talented, amazing woman. You have just been through a Major upheaval, remember that you still need to be gentle with yourself, and patient.
Your rainbow is waiting, but you don't have to climb up a palm tree to see it!
Hugs and love,
Thank you, Amy. Your comment made me cry in a good way. Glad you had time w/ your Betties! XoDelete
Oh, crap, I didn't mean to make you cry again, but as long as it was in a good way I guess its okay.Delete
Safe flight, and enjoy the reunion with the kiddos.
Continue to be patient and gentle with yourself. Healing takes time, there are no shortcuts.
Hugs, light, and love,
Now you have me crying! Sometimes it feels so good. Now you kids enjoy your last day at the beach. I think you've come full circle. Love you mama!ReplyDelete
I'm hoping! Thanks for the support! XoDelete
Sounds like you're having a perfect recovery vacation.ReplyDelete
Rock on, Mel!
Thanks, Guap! I'm trying. :)Delete
Keep embracing what you know will come after the storm--it looks gorgeous!ReplyDelete
I often say "No rain, no rainbow." Glad your skies cleared up.ReplyDelete
So glad you linked this post. Beautiful. Such great emotion in such a tight little post. ErinReplyDelete
Beautiful post. The moment after the storm is always the most beautiful because of the contrast. EllenReplyDelete
Beautiful ending. Hope your blue skies continue!ReplyDelete
This was a really well written post. Sometimes there's nothing like a good, cathartic cry.ReplyDelete