Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Me: "Hey, Mags. Wanna help me vacuum?"
Mags: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? Yes! Yes, I do!"
Me: "Alright, let me get you plugged in and ready to go."
Mags: (vacuuming, singing, happy)
Me: (loading dishwasher as fast as I can)
Mags: (over hum of vacuum) MAMA! THE VACUUM IS TIRED!"
Me: "Okay. Let's put it away."

What I thought Mags meant from that comment about the vacuum being tired is that SHE was tired. It turns out when I pulled my beloved Dyson vacuum later that day, she really did mean THE VACUUM was tired. I noticed it did not have it's usual 'suck up the crumbs from across the room' kind of power. And then there was the noise. It sounded like a buzzing.

Quickly unplugging it and flipping it over, I couldn't see anything stuck under it. I pulled out the hose that Mags had been using and looked through. Nope. Nothing. So, I decided to call the 'HELP ME, MY VACUUM IS SICK' phone number on the side of the handle. A very professional man answered the phone and this was the conversation that occurred:

Miguel: "Hello and welcome to Dyson. My name is Miguel. How can I assist you today?"
Me: "Hi Miguel. My name is Mel. My daughter was vacuuming today and I'm pretty sure she vacuumed something up that is stuck in there. It's just not sucking like usual."
Miguel: (very professional sounding) "Okay. Could you please read me the serial number on your Dyson. It will be on the handle of the canister."
Me: "All it says is Dyson on the handle. No numbers."
Miguel: "Try flipping your vacuum over and looking on the bottom. It should be on a white sticker."
Me: "Found it! We're cooking with gas now. Here it is <insert very long number>.
Miguel: "Great. I have found the model to your Dyson. Please hold."
Me: (listening to elevator music, drifting into a dream state)
Miguel: "Hello. Mel? I'm back and I have the same model Dyson as you in front of me."
Me: "Well that's handy. So, where should we start?"
Miguel: (chuckles, leads me through a series of steps to test the motor, canister, and hose)
Me: "Motor's working, there's sucking coming from that hole you described and the hose is clear."
Miguel: "Alright. Now I want you to locate the two yellow buttons on the sides of the grey 'U' shaped  piece below the hose. Once you have located them, push them in at the same time and slide the piece out."
Me: "Got it. I just pinch and pull?"
Miguel: "Yes. It should release that 'U' shaped piece."
Me: (pushes buttons, pulls piece off vacuum, watches a large green marker fall out) "OH! MIGUEL! I found the problem. There was a MARKER in my vacuum. Wow. These things really suck up anything, huh?"
Miguel: (stifling a giggle) "Yes. They are pretty powerful. You'll want to clear out that piece of any debris and then you can place it back on the vacuum and then we can test it out."

Me: (snapping vacuum back together) "Alright, let's give it a go, Miguel"
Miguel: (still stifling a giggle at my ridiculous excitement) 
Me: (vacuums up half of lunch and dinner from under the table with no problem) "Miguel. It's back to normal. I can now suck up small children with this thing again."
Miguel: (laughing while trying to remain professional) Great, Mel. Thank you for calling Dyson. I'm glad we could help you fix the problem. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call. 
Me: "I won't. Thanks for all your help!"
Miguel: (laughing) "Thank you for using Dyson. Have a good night!"

And the Dyson and I vacuumed our way into the sunset...
right after I took a picture of the culprit.

Have you ever sucked up anything besides dirt in your vacuum?



  1. You mean besides trying to suck up the tuffty stuff on the end of my throw rugs (all the time) and once the tail of my long haired cat? Not much. However, I didn't realize there was a number to call if I did.
    Thanks for that!

  2. Crayons! Always crayons! I don't know HOW they get underneath the furniture. And a super ball with the wand. That was a major "woopsie daisy" as the Mini prefers to call those sorts of things.