Chris: "I cannot believe I am sitting next to you right now in the theatre for the Evil Dead movie. Are you sure about this? You know the poster for the movie said it's the most terrifying movie you'll ever see, right?"
Me: (glaring at him)
Chris: "I'll shut up now."
I surprised Chris on Saturday night by taking him to see the remake of this cult classic. I, of course, have never seen it. Remember? I have big, gaping holes in my movie library.
|Credit: Evil Dead |
We met up with another couple who were also big fans of the original. As the movie started, it dove right into the gore. The director wasted no time disturbing the heck out of me with a scene that made me assume the "fingers in my ears, eyes on the floor" position for the duration of the movie. The only time I knew something was extra gory or shocking was when Chris would grab onto my knee or my sweet friend, Amanda, would whisper, "DON'T LOOK!" in my already blocked ear.
As we were driving home after the movie, I couldn't help but point out the similarities I saw to a book that is one of our family's favorites, "The Monster at the End of this Book" with furry, loveable, old Grover. I was most likely trying to grasp at anything comforting. But, seriously, think about it. They could have been written together to create a version for big scaredy, squeamish cats like me. Both the movie and the book had warnings throughout.
Here let me show you...and please know there will be spoilers for both the movie and the Little Golden Book in the following re-creation. Don't say I didn't WARN you.
A book is presented in the movie to the audience.
It is known as "The Book of the Dead."
And right away, you know the book is bad.
Grover helps out by sharing an idea.
This guy can't help himself. He has to do it. He HAS to turn the page.
Naturally, Grover FREAKS OUT.
(I know where he's coming from. It sucks when no one listens to you.)
The next page displays MORE warnings that are blatantly
ignored by the page turning dude.
He DOES say it.
He DOES write it.
He DOES read it.
Don't tell him what to do, 'Book of the Dead.'
Great! Now look what he's done. Reading those words obviously caused a change in Grover. See the stars SPEWING from his mouth?
That's not normal.
Even the heroine in the story is frustrated. Or possessed.
Pretty sure it's both.
Grover gets himself together and comes up with ANOTHER idea.
Nails and chains should definitely do the trick.
For the love of jellybeans, look at this little blue monster.
He's PLEADING with this dude to NOT turn the page.
Of course, the page turning fool will have to listen.
WRONG! Mr. Turny McTurnington just turns the page AGAIN!
Wow, 'Book of the Dead,' that's a little harsh, don't you think?
I mean, Grover can be a bit whiny and needy,
but suck my soul dry? Really?
And look! Grover didn't need to be scared. What a worry wart.
Turns out the only monster at the end of the book WAS Grover.
He's even admitting there was nothing to be afraid of.
Or NOT! Pretty sure Grover just peed his fur.
No worries, Grover. It happens to everybody.
And at the end of OUR story, everyone lives, there's minimal blood loss
and the page turning dude has to clean up Grover's mess.
C'mon! It's only fair.