Me: "We're going to ride on a Duck Tour today, Mags."
Mags: "What? We can't ride a duck! We'd squish 'em. Well, maybe I wouldn't, but you're so big, you DEFINITELY would."
I grew up in the
Boston area. However, I have never been on a Duck Tour. It
wasn’t that I was denied this right. We just never really felt the
need or desire. You see, I took a lot of field trips into the big city throughout my
school years that fit all the historical pieces together.
But, this summer,
when we brought the kids to visit my family, we decided to take them on one of
these popular tours. It was something different and Tuck has really become a
little history buff. Mags was just very excited to see how a bus could turn into a boat.
Promptly at 12:30,
our driver, tour guide and boat captain boarded. I was relieved to find out that he
was a super hero named Super Size. I mean, really, what average man could handle all three of
these roles at once?
He brought us
around to all the popular tourist destinations such as; Cheers, Boston Commons, Swan Boats and The Garden. We
learned about the great Molasses explosion that shot a 30 foot tidal wave through
sweets… err…streets of Boston in 1919. Of course, along with that story came some
fantastic corny jokes that left me in stitches. On top of that, Super Size worked his accent to the hilt. I begged Chris to let me adopt him. Unfortunately it was a no-go.
Anyways, as the tour continued on, Super Size stumped us with
5th grade history questions like “How many people were killed in the
Boston Massacre?” and “What did Paul Revere yell out during his famous ride?”
Then, the time came. The moment for
the…dun dun dun...TRANSFORMATION. After our driver said a short prayer and completed a sequence of button
pushes, we were floating along the Charles River. Super Size was spewing facts left and right when suddenly he
realized that he was due for a water break. As you can imagine, you can’t just leave a large, brown, motorized boat driving blindly across the river. So, he did what any responsible
superhero-tour-guide-boat-driver would do.
He let my seven-year-old take the
For the grand finale, I sat at the helm. I
didn’t crash the boat once…
and have the sticker to prove it.
Once we hit land again,
we headed back to our pick-up point, where we sadly bid farewell to our new best
friend. Honestly, though, I cannot say enough about what an enjoyable experience
it was. It had something for everyone. History facts for Tuck, ‘Make Way for
Ducklings’ statues for Mags, superheroes for Chris and corny jokes for me.
Short story long,
if you ever find yourself in Boston, take a Duck Tour. Preferably with the tour
guide named, Super Size, formerly known as Super Swift. He was knowledgeable, hilarious, daring (he
wore red spandex people!) and an excellent driver.