Thursday, September 12, 2013


Guest post by Christopher Bugaj

Maggie calling out in her sleep: “Where is it? Daddy? Where is it?”
Chris, stumbling to bedside: “It’s right here Mags. It just fell off your bed. Here it is.”
Maggie, snuggling with her new comfort item: “Thanks Daddy. I just need it.”

Life is happening. At the onset of this new school year our family finds ourselves adjusting to a new schedule. Coming off a summer where we spent almost all of our time together as a family, Melissa has gone back to work full-time and Maggie has started full-day Kindergarten. Our weeknights are filled with homework, piano lessons, scouting, and dance classes. All of these activities occupy the time we once spent together doing something leisurely. We’re all feeling the crunch and none more than little Maggie.

Tucker is her best friend. He’s her protector, playmate, and confidant. He laughs at all her antics and comes to her aid when she’s been hurt. Tucker makes her feel more special than anyone else in the world.

Maggie doesn’t know exactly how much less time she has with her brother each week but she feels the pinch. She can sense that it’s less and she misses him. She’ll say as much too, asking to go to Scouts with him or inviting him to come to dance classes with her. It’s like she knows she only gets to be this age once and that these young years with her brother are fleeting. Somewhere in her subconscious mind she knows that she needs to embrace every moment while they’re here; wisdom from the actions of a five-year-old.

So it’s not surprising that her long-time comfort items, her Silkies, are sharing some space. Maggie has found something new to make her feel warm, safe, and secure. For Christmas Tucker received a fleece, camouflage robe. He wore it after showers during the winter months. When the weather got warmer he hung it on the closet door knob. There it sat, blending in with the rest of the room, until Maggie claimed it as her own.

She still calls it “Tuckie’s Robe” but for all intents and purposes it now belongs to her. She sleeps with it curled around her every night. She wears it every morning for breakfast. In the evenings she wraps herself in it, disappearing in a heap of green.

To her, the robe is a reminder. It’s a way to wrap himself around her to provide all the comforts her big brother offers even when he’s not there. The robe connects her to him, keeping him close at all times.

To me, the robe is a symbol of the bond the two share and of the relationship they’ve built. It’s a testament to good times and happy memories. It’s also promise of many more to come.

We should all be so lucky as to have a camouflage robe of our own.


  1. Your kids are amazing little humans.

  2. I hope their close relationship with one another lasts forever. My younger brother and I have the same kind of friendship that has lasted until this day.

  3. That is just beautiful. What a change it has been for our entire family. I am sure it is not easy for any of you. How wise of you and perceptive of you to take notice of Mags and her needs and what she is going through. It can't be easy and I am sure that it is not solely fixed by the warmth of a robe. How sweet of Mags and touching of her to take seething that is Tucks and use it to help her be close to her brother. Lastly, how lucky all of you are to have a family closeness and such love for each other.

  4. I love to see siblings love each other that much. This just brought me to prickly teary eyes, I think we all have that robe don't we? In our own way (when I was pregnant and on bed rest, John would leave for work an hour + away and I'd fall asleep after he left with the Tshirt he had just slept in curled into my arms, to protect me and the babies that we were trying so desperately to keep cooking)

    I love how they love one another (I see it with Gio and Jacob , our twins) a lot. They fight, they disagree, but the deep connection is there and when one of them is missing etc, they are sad, wandering.

    this was beautiful.

  5. Love the stories about the relationship of your kids!

    I have something like that robe. It's my wedding ring.

  6. This was so beautiful and sweet. I love the bond that your kids have and hope that one day, my kids will share something similar. We're definitely making steps in the right direction.

    @Guap - that is so sweet. Looking forward to seeing you and your bride next week.

  7. I have been thinking about this post since I read it in my email. Love it so much. My 4yo is missing her big sister, and my 7yo is having a hard time adjusting to school. I wonder if I give each of them an article of the other's clothing if it'll help. :-)

  8. This is all about of love and tending care. I miss the day of my kids sleeping at me. Now I was in my Piano Lessons Honolulu with my students and I share this wonderful story to them. So nice to be here. Thanks!